Of nightmares and dilerium

So last night I woke up panicked from my nightmare at 2:17am.  I had to check my husband was really him, and then asked him to hold me, while I sang the Winnie the Pooh theme song to my self (nightmare cure, obviously)

I was at my house with Ashley, but we were planning on moving. There are some shitty apartments near our house, walking distance, but it looked like there might be cute townhouses behind them. We decided to walk over.  The shitty apartments were as expected, but right behind those were some really cute townhouses! There was a really nice garden, and Ashley and I were talking about seeing if any were available and walking through the garden, when an alarm started going off. A recording said “no trespassing, dogs are being released, trespassers will be shot” Ashley and I looked at each other, horrified.  We start back towards my house and an angry black and white border collie rounds the corner in front of us barking.  Then an older man (50s) came around the corner aiming either a shotgun or a crossbow at us. Seems like I would know which one but I feel like Everytime I looked it was different.  I told Ashley to raise her hands and I put my hands In the air. I told him why we were there, just looking to see about moving. He let us go.  When we got back to my house I realized I had dropped my book and had to go back. Ashley went home and I went back. I grabbed my book, and was walking back across a field and I saw that same guy getting into his car in the parking lot. I decided to walk away from that area and he pulled out and parked next to me. He told me to get in but I said no and ran home. 

When I got home he pulled into the driveway and forced his way inside. He sat in my recliner and I grabbed a knife. I yelled at him to get the fuck out. He asked why I was acting this way. He said he was my husband. I said no I’m married to W. He said I am W. I argued and said no you aren’t he is at work. I called my husband but he didn’t answer. He said I can’t answer I’m right here and I forgot my phone at work. I said no you aren’t him. You’re lying. I grabbed a second knife. I called my mom and told her to come over and bring dad and bring a gun. The man said I was having a psychotic break. I couldn’t recognize him, but he is my husband. I told Mom to knock on the door when she got there with Dad ready to shoot. I said if W doesn’t open the door then shoot whoever he is cause he forced his way in here. When they got there my dad shot him and his head exploded all over the hallway. I was screaming because I really didn’t know if that was W or not until I could talk to him for myself. 

Then I woke up.

And I had to make sure my husband was who I thought he was. And I panicked because what if that happens to me. What if my brain makes me not recognize my family, permanently. I am very afraid of this.


Come as you aren’t

I got this cute roleplaying game from blogging for books. “This simple role-playing kit will help couples experiment, improvise, and seduce in ways they never would have otherwise imagined. To use the set, one partner draws a Who, a What, and a Where card at random, puts them in an envelope, and then gives the envelope for their partner or leaves it for him or her. From there, it’s up to them to enact the scenarios as they see fit. The instructions are printed on back cover of the slipcase and each deck comes with a few blank cards to customize.” It is definitely not something I would use with my husband because he isn’t into that sort of thing, but its still a cute concept.

The Comic Book Story of Video Games: The Incredible History of the Electronic Gaming Revolution

The Comic Book Story of Video Games: The Incredible History of the Electronic Gaming Revolutionby  Jonathan Hennessey and Jack McGowan

This is a graphic novel that tells the history of video games. I think this is a really cool book for a gamer. I’m giving it to my brother. The artwork is rendered very nicely.  While this book isn’t great for me, the history of video games is a bit boring for me, I think if you were super into games you would find it very interesting!

Me, Myself, and I

Image result for multiple personalities gif


So I haven’t been posting much lately.  There are several reasons for this.  I integrated (we think) with Sadness.  This gave me all of her memories and stuff, but it also gave me a part of her. It is like we merged together or something, so now I have more of her personality.  Unless, I did not integrate, and she is trying to come out. Because I have felt depressed and have gotten anxiety, and just all around blah and lazy. Melancholy.  Kiddie has run around most evenings.  I bought her some toys and picture books. Seems weird to buy stuff like that when you don’t have kids, but in a way we kind of do.  Not me really, but my husband. I mean he is the one that has to deal with Kiddie when she is here running a muck.

Image result for hocus pocus a muck gif (source)

And I got a job.  It is only part-time, 3 days a week. But I haven’t done anything in such a long time it will be nice to get out of the house. I am actually really excited about it.  My best friend works there, so I think it will be great.  Yesterday was my first day, and everyone there seems really nice.

Anyways that is what has gone on with me lately. I am going to try to keep a better schedule, both with the blog and household chores (which I have also been neglecting.)

We shall see.

New York Street Style: A Coloring Book by Zoé de Las Cases


This coloring book by Zoé de Las Cases is super cute. I love it as much as the Tokyo Street Style one I have. I like that it comes with an elastic to keep the book closed and a ribbon to mark your place. This one has a lot of great pages to color. Just like in Tokyo Street Style it has pages with full patterned images and some that aren’t full page. I love that it really gives a New York feel, and it isn’t just generic.


Tokoyo Street Style, a coloring book. Review

This book is so cute!!! I got it free in exchange for an honest review from blogging for books. I can not wait to start coloring it! I love the diversity of the pages. Some are whole pages of prints and some are simple designs. The selfie girls are too cute!

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk



Haunted is a novel made up of stories: twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you’ll ever encounter.

The stories are told by people who have all answered an ad headlined ‘Artists Retreat: Abandon your life for three months‘. They are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of ‘real life’ that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them.

But ‘here’ turns out to be a cavernous and ornate old theater where they are utterly isolated from the outside world – and where heat and power and, most importantly, food are in increasingly short supply. And the more desperate the circumstances become, the more desperate the stories they tell – and the more devious their machinations to make themselves the hero of the inevitable play/movie/non-fiction blockbuster that will certainly be made from their plight.

My Thoughts:

So Chuck Palahniuk is my favorite author.  I loved the movie Fight Club, but I haven’t actually read that book yet.  I have read many of his other books and short stories though.Although this is a kind-of collection of short stories, it is actually a novel that the short stories make up. The characters in the book all have to tell their story, because they are locked together in an abandoned theater. This book is disturbing and fucked up like all the other Chuck Palahniuk books. There are a lot of blood and guts in this book, like many of his other novels. I love how each characters story has nothing to do with each other, but they are all connected through human depravity. I’ve heard that the author reading Guts aloud has made many people pass out. I don’t get that. I guess I am pretty messed up too, cause I don’t think that story was that fucked. I mean yes it was fucked up and gruesome, but not enough to make someone pass out. I don’t think. Oh and the cover glows in the dark, which was a bit of a shock to see a scary face glowing in the dark. Surprise.


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